PERFUCKTION

Two years ago, I started this blog as a side project - something I could use as a creative outlet and a platform for me to share my love of fashion, travel and culture with other like minded creatives. I had so many hopes and dreams for this space and went in full speed ahead, which quickly slowed down after a couple of posts and eventually coming to a stop for a few months at a time. The idea of running a successful blog was so much easier than the actual act of producing one. I don’t think I fully realized how much I would have to commit to this space, I mean I knew it was a lot of work but I don’t think I realized how much time and energy it would take just to produce one post (same story with my Instagram). When people would ask me “when is your next blog post coming out?” I would always respond with some kind of excuse like “Oh I’m too busy with work, so I don’t have time to focus on it.” But in actuality, I had time. I just felt this pressure to make the “perfect” comeback post after being MIA for so long which then led to me procrastinating a post. Many people around me said I could just post about whatever, just as long as I was posting consistently and getting the most out of it as possible. I get what they meant and definitely tried, I would write and write but could never come through and hit “publish.” Honestly, the amount of drafted posts I have on here is ridiculous and still to this day, none of them feel “perfect” enough.

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“strive for continuous improvement instead of perfection” - kim collins


For as long as I could remember I’ve always been obsessed with this idea of “perfection” and constantly find myself striving towards it. I need the perfect answer to every question, the perfect outfit for every occasion, and the perfect reaction to every situation. I’ve come to realize that it’s one of my biggest downfalls because I put a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself to achieve perfection so I start to second guess myself and feel that whatever I’ve done is not quite enough. As a result, I always fall short. This desire is something that holds me back in many aspects of my life and has created a lot of anxiety and insecurities that I never had when I was a lot younger. However, a lot of people around me lately have (unintentionally/coincidentally) been showing me that the person I want to become is already how they see me. It made me reflect on myself in a different light which has finally inspired me to start blogging again and really take a shot at something that makes me so happy. I guess it really goes to show that we are our own biggest critics.
Ironically enough, my “perfect” comeback post is about how unattainable perfection is after all.

xx,
tonyvous

  PHOTOS BY: JOHN BELLO |    WWW.JOHNBELLO.CA    POST PRODUCTION BY: TONYVOUS

PHOTOS BY: JOHN BELLO | WWW.JOHNBELLO.CA
POST PRODUCTION BY: TONYVOUS